


Adorney Drabble for your troubles

by Mistressaq



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Drabble, FYI, Gen, but i dont feel like i made any major missteps or transphobic anything so, fluff mostly, i am not trans, i just had some writers block and needed to get it out, some hurt comfort, this thing isnt even 1k
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 05:09:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14867219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistressaq/pseuds/Mistressaq
Summary: In which adore/danny has some gender identity crisis and Courtney helps stop the spiraling





	Adorney Drabble for your troubles

**Author's Note:**

> i was experimenting with first person.

The first text came through a few months back.

> Adore Danny: hey courm?
> 
> Me: yeah
> 
> Me: what do you need?
> 
> Adore Danny: i… like… hang on

It took them a long time to send the next text. I sent one text in the meantime to remind Adore that I love them and to take as long as they need. After 20 minutes, they managed to hit send.

> Adore Danny: so like gender is confusing or whatever and ive been getting clean from all the party shit you know and cutting back on the weed… and like…? I dunno getting to know myself without them and ive never felt like a guy or a girl really but… recently… ive been feeling… more on the girl end of the spectrum. And…

The next messages came in a flurry, one right after the other after the other. I could hardly keep up with them and they started to send out of order. I had to piece together what they were saying based on context, which only got harder as my phone buzzed again and again. 

> Adore Danny: and like ive been talking to my doctors, not anything scheduled just talking because maybe i don't know we’ve just been talking and stuff but like i might want to think about procedures here and there to further feminize my face and shit i don't know courtney i just don't know
> 
> Adore Danny: its like i don't fucking know myself and how am i supposed to make my outside reflect my inside if i dint know what IS inside and my insides are all confusing and i don't know who i am anymore or what or
> 
> Adore Danny: i just want someone to fucking TELL ME what im supposed to do am i supposed to fully transition or not or half transition or leave it but leaving it just doesn't feel right anymore because its like i don't look like i feel and i don't feel like me i just
> 
> Adore Danny: help me priscilla, queen of the gender spectrum. You’re my only hope.

I couldn’t help but giggle a little. Then i started making my responses. I sent them quickly, because i could tell Adore is freaking out and needs answers, or at least the knowledge that someone cares and can somewhat understand what they’re feeling.

> Me: its confusing to be in that place for sure. I get it. I’ve been there.
> 
> Me: the thing with genderfluidity is that it can stay to one side for a long time, instead of sloshing back and forth or staying in the middle. Theres no RIGHT way to feel it
> 
> Me: but don’t freak yourself out thinking that because you’ve been on the female side of the gender spectrum for a while means that you HAVE to identify as female now, and get procedures done to validate that. It doesn’t have to mean that, y’know?
> 
> Me: because like… people have fully transitioned when they didn’t need to, because their gender identity wasnt permanent, and now they’re stuck with a body they no longer feel comfortable with. Of course its your body to do what you want with it but don’t think you have to go overboard
> 
> Me: It’s still the binary thinking -- that you have to be transgender OR cis. And its hard to fight against that. It’s so ingrained in our culture. But like. People like us especially live outside the binary on a regular basis.
> 
> Adore Danny: thank you, courtney.

I can feel their relief through the screen. They thank me profusely and try and say things that don’t end up making any sense, but I feel like at least I was able to make them feel heard, and offer a little wisdom they couldn’t think up themselves in this moment. Of course Adore knows that gender is a construct and you don't have to be one thing or the other, but in those kinds of spirals, when that many societal expectations and that much pressure is just swishing you around like a whirlpool, you can’t think up those reasonable arguments for yourself. I know i can’t always. I’ve been getting better but still, I’m no stranger to the emotional tornado my friend was going through.


End file.
